The Golfing Negro

I hate Ben Roethlisberger

2009-06-14T11:56:00.003-04:00

He shot 81 at Bethpage Black. Under the same conditions the pros will at the US Open.

Two Superbowl rings, an intimate knowledge of Natalie Gulbis and 81 at Bethpage? Grrrrrr.

Golf Digest is now mocking me personally

2008-01-09T08:21:00.000-05:00

I mentioned last year I fell in love with a pair of Polo Golf pants. I don't own them; they may not exist.

First, I couldn't find them on Polo's website. Then, I couldn't find them in local Polo stores. Then, I called Polo, e-mailed them an picture of the pants, and they couldn't find them (I received a $10 Polo gift certificate for my troubles).

Meanwhile, I sent e-mail to the writer connected to the Golf Digest article, only to get it bounced back due to some sort of e-mail error. I got so disappointed I wrote a letter (an actual letter on paper) to the writer, along with some editors asking why they would put clothes in the magazine that can't be found in the real world.

So, what photo shows up in the most recent issue of Golf Digest?

Checkerboard pants!

They must hate me.

Playing Golf 1/8

2008-01-09T00:04:00.000-05:00

Course: Little Bennett
Score: ??? (more on that later)
Best Club: 3 wood
Worst Club: Driver
Highlights: Scoring par on the par-3 8^th hole.
Lowlights: Losing two three balls on the par-5 14^th (also, more on that later)

Here’s a Golfing Negro rule. If it is January, the high temperature is in the 60s and I am not working, I’m playing golf.

Unfortunately for me, I didn’t set a tee time, although most courses frown on tee times for singles. When I got to the Little Bennett clubhouse and announced I was a single with no tee time, I was told I could fit in with the group going to the tee right now. Whoops, no warm up. No problem, I though. I’ve been using the Birdieballs in the backyard; my swing will be fine.

While positive thinking is a good thing, it is not infallible. While I wasn’t hideous, most of my approach irons were pushed to the right and the driver was less than Fred Funk straight.

I wasn’t playing well, but I was having fun. That is, until the 14^th hole. It is a 500+ yard par-5 that doglegs left. It also, thanks to mounds on the left side, is a blind shot to get to the green. After putting two balls in the woods to the left (thanks to pulls most likely due to adjusting my hand position with the driver off the tee to hit a draw), I dropped past the Titleist eating ravine and hit hybrid onto the fairway. At 250 yards out, I hit a low draw with my 3-wood that a playing partner said would end up really good. I never found the ball, and just gave up for the hole. The next hole is a 215 yard par-3; downhill but into the wind. I hit a 5-iron that was going right for the pin. No one in the foursome could see the ball land, but the thought was it certainly wasn’t long and most likely was just short of the green if not on it. I couldn’t find that ball either. Losing balls from bad swings is understandable. Losing balls from good swings is mind numbing to the point I didn’t want to keep score anymore. Not that that USGA was going to want a copy of the scorecard due to my excellence anyway.

It is good thing I enjoyed myself, as winter is coming back to the Washington DC area. So long playing golf until the end of March.

Found it!

2008-01-06T14:24:00.000-05:00

Found the missing 'ball' Sunday morning inside the near curb. The 'ball' must have spun back against the curb.

I'm still the worst golfer alive.

Nothing is impossible when you suck

2008-01-05T18:39:00.001-05:00

I prove once again I may be the worst golfer in the world.

My Mother bought be a set of Birdieballs for a Christmas gift this year. Birdieballs are limited distance plastic practice 'balls'. They go a maximum of approximately 60 yards, no matter what club you hit them with. They also spin like real golf balls; if you hit one with an open club face, the 'ball' will slice.

In anticipation of 60 degree weather around here while I'm on vacation, I take the box of twelve out, along with an 5 iron and a 7 iron, to the backyard for some practice. And I need it, as the pulls have come to my home for the winter. Adding insult to injury is the fact that, from where I am swinging, sever pulls leave my yard and hit the street (slices hit the house; I tagged my home once, causing no damage).

Starting with the 7 iron, I put a few 'balls' on the sidewalk outside my yard. the didn't go far and were easily retrievable. I switched to the 5 iron (the 'balls' do go farther with a lower lofted club, but not much farther) and put a couple over the fence. The first was also easily retrievable. The second 'ball' I could hear hit concrete. I went to look for it, and couldn't find it.

To sum up, I lost a training 'ball' which, by design, should be almost impossible to lose. Perhaps I'll be able to find it tomorrow, when it is sunny.

Back for more swings

2007-10-13T10:23:00.000-04:00

Not unlike most elite players, I stopped after the Fed Ex Cup (I actuallt stopped before the final, but who’s counting). Work and family responsibilities severly cut down my blogging time. Hopefully things can calm down a hair and I can get back to this.

What have I missed?

Fed Ex Cup: Tiger won. No one was shocked. TV Ratings were up. They will do it again next year.

Presidents Cup: U.S. won. No one was shocked. Mike Weir beat Woods in singles, cementing his never having to buy beer for himself in Canada. Woody Austin feel into a lake hitting a shot; that may replace him using his head to bend a putter shaft as the go to clip on him.

My Golf Game: Haven’t played much at all since the beginning of September. We to New Jersey once to place with a couple of friends in advance of a friend’s wedding. When you are not good (and as I rarely break 100, I am not good) and you are the best golfer in your group, that is a strange feeling. It didn’t help that one of my friends rented clubs from the course, and the club he used were older than any of us (he is left handed, which I’m sure didn’t help).

My Newest Golf Want

Damn GolfDigest and their Mr. Style section. I’ve been coveting these pants for a week.

The fact they retail for $190 is the only thing stopping me from finding a Polo store and immediately whipping out the plastic.

Whadda Mean Tiger Ain't Showing?

2007-08-26T10:05:00.000-04:00

Mike Vacarro of the New York Post (shut up, I’m a native New Yorker and I need a compass to decipher the web layout of the Daily News) practically canonizes Tiger Woods today for skipping The Barclays. His argument is that the FedEx Cup Playoff system is contrived and the sports watching public really doesn’t want to watch golf after the PGA Championship (except for the Ryder Cup every other year) and perhaps Tiger agrees with this, and his absence is a reaction to this. While I disagree with Vacarro on the substance of his thesis (why should the PGA Tour roll over and die just because he is too interested in Chad Pennington), there is something he neglected to mention about Tiger…

He asked for this.

Perhaps he didn’t specifically ask for the FedEx Cup, but he did (along with Phil Mickelson in particular) opine that the PGA Tour season was too long. The 2007 PGA Tour schedule and the Fed Ex Cup was the PGA Tour’s attempt to reach a balance between television partners (who didn’t want to spend top dollar on tournaments no one was watching), rank and file players (who didn’t want to lose tournaments/opportunities to make money), and elite players (who thought the schedule was too long).

Tiger wanted a shorter schedule (he wasn’t going to play past the PGA Championship anyway, but a shorter schedule would mean he would have to hear the ‘we never get a change at the Tiger windfall’ whining from tournament heads) and he got it. While I can compare Tiger not playing this week with a baseball team sitting starters out after they’ve clinched the pennant (with his #1 seed, he is assured of going through to the Tour Championship), not showing up for the first week is a bit of a slap in the face to the PGA Tour.

Tiger's victims

2007-08-13T10:33:00.001-04:00

I've got a wonderful idea for a silly season event. Take the four players who have falled on their faces when paired with Tiger Woods in the final pairing of the final round of a tournmentthis year; Stuart Appleby (Masters), Aaron Baddeley (U.S. Open), Rory Sabbatini (WGC-Bridgestone) and Stephen Ames (PGA Championship )together for a skins games format. But instead of the Skins Game, you call it the Skinned Game.

It would be a traditional skins game, but on every other hole, a cardboard cutout of Tiger would appear to startle the players. I've never seen a skin won with a triple bogey, but you could at the Skinned Game.

The Monday Wrapup

2007-08-13T09:25:00.001-04:00

Only one tournament to talk about this week. Fans of the Ladies European Tour have my apoligies.

Tiger Woods wins the PGA Championship by two shots for his 13th major victory

He won with his patented two deep zone golf once he secured the lead (a 63 in a major will have that effect), minimizing mistakes and daring his competitors to get close. Woody Austin (67)and Ernie Els (66) did a good job down the stretch, but it wasn't enough to catch Tiger, who looked like he had an extra gear if needed. His tee shot on the 16th was a ridiculous combination of power and precision; it served as a exclamation point for the win.

Speaking of winning, lets go through the Winners and Losers of the week:

Woody Austin - Winner: He couldn't catch Tiger, but he best performance in a major (second)got him on the Presidents Cup team, and maybe he will be remembered for something more than his Tobasco shirts and hitting himself over the head with his putter.

Ernie Els - Winner: I am a Knick fan, and clearly remember the 90's playoff wars between Patrick Ewing's Knicks and Michael Jordan's Bulls (don't get me started on Charles Smith and a layup). Because Jordan was so dominant, Ewing's career is looked at as somewhat of a failure since his team couldn't win a championship. Erine Els is in the same category. His career is Hall of Fame worthy with three major championships, but he almost seems to be a failure becasue Tiger.

He has finished tied for fourth and third in the last two majors. I assumed after the British Open that he is on the backnine of his career; he may just be getting fully healthy after his knee surgery in 2005, an injury he may have tried to come back from too soon. We will also see him at the Presidents Cup.

TNT - Winner: They broadcast the Grand Slam of Golf, the competition between the major championship winners. Before yesterday the participants were Zack Johnson, Angel Cabrera and Padraig Harrington. Ouside of Cedar Rapids, Iowa (Johnson's hometown) there wasn't going to be a lot of viewers dying to tune their Direct TV's to channel 245 to watch that matchup. With Tiger making it a foursome, TNT can charge a little more for and available ad time.

Stephen Ames - Loser: The Tiger Intimidation Tour continues as Ames shhots a 76 in the final round, 7 shots behind Tiger. He fell from second at the end of three holes to a tie for 12th at the end of the tournament. At least he didn't say anything stupid.

John Daly - Winner: He made the cut of a major and was close to the lead after the first round...

John Daly - Loser: and then flushed it away with three straight 73s.

A lot of poeple talk about having the mental capacity to win. Whatever mindstate that constitutes, Daly doesn't have it. While he didn't mentally check out like he has done in majors in the past, he doesn't change his approach to the game at all to fit the circumstances.

The Monday Wrapup

2007-08-06T06:48:00.000-04:00

The number one male and female golfers in the world proved their mettle this weekend

Tiger Woods wins the Bridgestone Invitational by eight strokes

Woods shot the best round of the day (by two strokes over Rod Pampling and Sergio Garcia) on a rainy Sunday where players were sent out in threesomes early to beat inclement weather heading for Akron. This is the sixth time Woods has won this event and the third year in a row. The victory is the third PGA Tour win for Woods this year, the only player this year to win that many, and it provides him some momentum into the PGA Championship, where he will be the defending champion. The AT&T National might be getting jealous; Tiger Woods also owns the Bridgestone.

Enough about Woods, how about Rory 'Chickenhawk' Sabbatini?

Losing to Tiger Woods isn't a crime, no one else could keep up with him Sunday. Mouthing off that the Tiger of today isn't as dominant as the Tiger of 2000 is technically accurate, if not the smartest thing to say out loud. Giving Tiger Woods added motavation may seem silly, but I'd rather golfers in the Tiger era take on the best player than defer to him (it is probably a good idea to use their inside voice instead of looking for the closest microphone, but different strokes for different folks).

What shouldn't be done is what Sabbatini did Sunday, quitely leave center stage when the world is looking. After a birdie on the first hole, Sabbatini went five over par the next nine holes. Even if Tiger played par golf over that stretch (he went 3 under par), he would have been four shots ahead of his fellow Nike endorser.

Failing early doesn't get the label that failing late does, just ask Phil Michelson. Sergio Garcia did this last year at the Open paired with Tiger and Stuart Appleby did it this year at the AT&T National and last year at the Masters. In some ways it says more about the athlete than failing late; it takes a level of athletic bravery to play a high level when the pressure is at its highest. It is easier to fade back when it gets hot; then you don't have to see if you can face late pressure.

Sabbatini already has had a great career in golf. I question if when his career ends, it will be able to cash the check his mouth regualrly writes.

Lorena Ochoa wins the Women's British Open by four strokes for her first major victory

The Major Mono (monkey in Spanish) is off Ochoa's back. Her prior failures are now in the 'learning how to win' category. Which would be bull, you don't get to be the number one golfer in the world without knowing how to win. What got her the win is blowing the field away in the first three rounds (she was six shot clear after the third round), and keeping it on the course Sunday.

The depth at the top of the LPGA is pretty good (especially if Annika Sorenstam fully recovers from her neck injury), but this win could propel Ochoa to an all-time season in 2008. She already has the LPGA Player of the year sewed up; she could decide to compete in triathlons (she's done so in the past) for the next six months and still would win.

Who's Your Caddy

2007-08-04T12:59:00.001-04:00

There is not a chance I will see this movie. Okay, there is a chance when Showtime is showing it on an endless loop (like they currently do with Soul Plane), I will glance at it for a few minutes. But that is it.

It has been panned by the critics for being at best derivative and at worst lazily pandering to the easiest and worst stereotypes about black and white people. If it seems like the people at BET got a production company and this is their first movie, that is exactly what happened.

The real sin of this movie being made (besides the clothes that even Ian Poulter would pan as being over the top) is it probably kills the chance that an African-American version of Caddyshack would be produced. That movie, with the correct script and cast, would be funny. Watch me cast the movie:

Ted Knight/Judge Elihu Smails:
Should be: Samuel L. Jackson
Would be: Phil Morris

With his propensity to do any movie where the check clears (I don't know if he is the black Christopher Walken or Christopher Walken is the white Samuel L. Jackson), and his personal love of golf, Jackson would be an obvious choice. He would never do the movie though; the metric ton of rappers doing cameos would clash with his alleged hatred of rappers taking roles from actors.

Phil Morris (last seen in the stuffy black guy in Wanda At Large) will have to do.

Chevy Chase/Ty Webb
Should be: Ludacris
Would be: Ludacris

Ty Webb's character bridges the gap between the stodgy members and the brash newcomers with his detached coolness. Since Ludacris can actually act (rent Crash if don't believe this) and he has the necessary (I hate to use this line) street cred, he could be that guy. Plus, the catchy tune he records would be the first single off the soundtrack.

Michael O'Keefe/Danny Noonan
Should have been: Nick Cannon
Would be: ?
Nick Cannon would be too old for the role of the teenage caddy. I can't think of a prominent young black actor that would pull off the role.

Rodney Dangerfield/Al Czervik
Should be: Diddy
Could be: Ludacris
Would be: [enter southern rapper here]

Diddy, playing himself, would be an inspired choice. The guy who rides a wave runner in a bathrobe in St. Tropez in real life could easily play the brash new money character. Luda could do it as well, with a Dirrty South flair. With my luck, one of the Yin Yang Twins would be cast. T.I. wouldn't be too reprehensible.

Bill Murray/Carl Spackler
Should be: Dave Chappelle
Could be: Bernie Mac
Would be: Mike Epps

If Chappelle could focus long enough, the role of the crazy greens keeper would be perfect for him. If they wanted to go the crazy old guy instead of the crazy burnted out by THC guy, Bernie could do the job. Of course, it will go to Mike Epps. I think there is an unknown amendment in the U.S. Constitution that states Epps must be in all movies like this. I blame Chris Tucker; if he would have done at least one more Friday movie, Epps would be opening for D.L. Hughley somewhere. Or hosting a BET game show.

Of course, there would be scenes that would make me squirm in my seat:

The Escalade golf cart with spinning rims
The video hoochie selling Kool-Aid, shots of Hennessey and White Owl cigars out of the beverage cart. Or worse, Moniqué manning the beverage cart
Everyone showing up to the movie ending golf battle wearing red shirts and black pants, like Tiger Woods

but hopefully they would be in passing.

The Monday Wrapup

2007-07-29T15:22:00.000-04:00

In an interesting coincidence, none of the major U.S. based golf tour held tournaments in the U.S. this weekend.

Jim Furyk repeats as Canadian Open champion, beating Vijay Singh by one shot

A final round 64, including a hole-in-one on the 209 yard Par 4th, propelled Furyk from three strokes back at the start of the round to the victory. Singh has a chance to force a sudden death playoff but could not get a birdie attempt to go in on the 18th green. It is the first win of the year for Furyk, and in my opinion the least interesting golf story of the weekend.

Natalie Gulbis wins the Evian Masters on the first playoff hole for her first LPGA win

A two under in the final round put her in the playoff with Jang Jeong of South Korea, where she reached the Par 5 18th green in 2.

A lot of men in the world (and possibly ten percent of women) would like to be that troph

.....

Hi, this is Natalie. You may be wondering why, after making such a prestigish tournament my first win I'm commendeering the blog. Well, I wanted to say something to the golf world, and this is as a good a place as any:

Anna Kournikova of the golf world my ass.

By the way, my 2008 calendar will be in stores this fall. Thank you.

Andres Romero wins the Deutsche Bank Players' Championship for his first European Tour win

Not a bad seven days; lead the British Open on the back nine last Sunday and finish third, then win the next week.

With his agressive style, Romero may be the heir apparent to Seve Ballesteros. He may not have the short game wizardry of the Spainard, and he wouldn't be able to grab the hearts of European fans with Ryder Cup exploits, but he doesn't seem to fear any shot.

The win moves him to fifth in the European Order of Merit and will move him up enough in the World Golf Rankings to ensure his playing in the WGC - Bridgestone Invitational and the PGA Championship.

There is no word on where he falls in the 'bedding comely female golf fans' standings; South American Division' where Camilo Villegas currently leads in the clubhouse.

Tom Watson wins the British Senior Open for the third time in five years

Watson washes the bad taste of failing to win the U.S. Senior Open out of his mouth with his eighth British Open victory (5 original recipie, three senior).

I can't think of any American athlete that has had more success in Britian in a sport people actually care about there. And next year the tournament will take place at Troon, a course he won on of his British Open titles.

Throwing Vijay Under The Bus

2007-07-28T20:36:00.000-04:00

A thought came to me while watching the Canadian Open:

The CBS television crew were praising Vijay Singh, who is leading the tournament after three rounds, for his record breaking success on the PGA Tour at his relatively advanced age (he has won 19 tournaments since turning 40, breaking Sam Snead record of 17). They (and in the past Singh himself) credited his work ethic and a focused workout regiment as part of the reason Singh was able to have such success ‘late’, temporarily surpassing Tiger Woods as the number one golfer in the world in 2004.

A look at his bio shows he went from winning one or two tournaments a year from 1997 to 2002 to winning 4 tournaments in 2003 (the year he turned 40), 9 in 2004 and 4 in 2005. The amount of events played from year to year didn’t change appreciably; he ranged from 26 to 30 events played each year.

Does this sound familiar? An athlete near the top of his profession gets better at an age where most other players start to fade? Aren’t there athletes in other sports under heavy scrutiny that follow a similar career trajectory?

Recently another athlete was lauded for his worth ethic and strenuous workout regiment. Sean Sherk is the current lightweight champion in the UFC. The week before the most recent pay-per-view (where Sherk held on to his title with a commanding decision victory), the UFC aired UFC All Access on Spike TV to promote the event. Part of that program focused on the ridiculously difficult training Sherk puts himself through before a fight. During the fight, the commentators referred to Sherk’s training as a reason he was able to fight at a high rate.

Sean Sherk later tested positive for steroids.

...

I have no idea if Vijay Singh is using anything stronger than Advil to be the best golfer he can be. I do know every second the major golf tours delay implementing drug testing, questions like this can’t be easily swept under the rug.

Especially when Singh has been accused of cheating before.

The Monday Wrapup

2007-07-22T21:57:00.000-04:00

Padraig Harrington wins the British Open in a four hole playoff over Sergio Garcia

I don't know where to start, so I'll just dive in:

There is no way around it; Sergio choked. He was three shots ahead at the beginning of the day and shot two over par on the front nine, giving other players hope. His putter betrayed him once again. If the weakness of his game wasn't known before (and it was; you don't go to a belly putter because it matches your shoes) it was laid bare for the world to see Sunday afternoon in Scotland. Garcia was able to putt well for the first 45 holes, but he returned to form on the remaining 27.

While I don’t expect any public self-immolation from him, he has to either figure out how to putt better, or come to accept his limitations as a golfer and tailor his game around them. He can win all the Booz Allen Classics he wants the way he is now, but the crack in his game will continue to haunt him in the majors.The good news is he has time at 27. If you look at the most recent major championship winners, you’ll see Garcia is ahead of the curve:

US Open 2007 - Angel Cabrera – 37

Masters 200 - Zach Johnson – 31

US Open 2006 - Geoff Ogilvy – 29

US Open 2005 -Michael Campbell – 36

British Open 2004 – Todd Hamilton - 38

Masters 2004 – Phil Mickelson - 33

Padraig Harrington surely made a mess of the 18th Sunday, but by that time he was six shots under par for the day with no bogeys. He may have blinked, but he didn’t choke.

I believe on the 12th hole Andres Romero took an unplayable lie when he hit his ball into a bush Sunday. The American announcers were making a big deal about the inexperience of Romero's caddy (he left Romero's bag around the green and had to retrieve it; he also didn't pace off the yardage Romero had from his drop to the green). A better example of the caddie letting Romero down is when he didn't raise a stink on the 17th hole when Romero pulled out a 2-iron to hit out of wispy rough. Regardless of whether Romero put his second attempt on the green with a 3-wood (even I can hit good shots if given two changes at them), that was a lay up if there ever was one.

Ernie Els seems to be at least past his peak and at most done as an elite level pro. He was the only serious contender with a victory in a major championship on his resume, but he couldn't raise his game on the back nine of a tournament begging to be taken. While he didn't make the glaring mistake like Harrington or Romero, going one over on the back nine won't win you most majors.

Joe Ogilvie wins the US Bank Championship

This is Ogilvie's first PGA Tour win, and I don't think he cares if the big boys were over in Scotland.

Tim Clark, for the second week in a row, can't close for his first win. I"m not going to cry for him too much; he has earned over $640K in less than a forthnight.

Seon Hwa Lee beats Ai Miyazato in the final round of the HSBC Women's World Match Play Championship

Having this tournament, which with the match play format could be a pretty big deal, the same weekend as the British Open is a shame. The Open sucks all the attention from anything else regarding golf.

I will not bemoan the lack fo star power in the final. When you have match play, these things happen.

Sergio Made His Next Victory Harder

2007-07-22T20:09:00.001-04:00

Wladimir Klitschko is the current IBF Heavyweight champion. He has the size, power, boxing ability and dedication to be considered the best heavyweight in the world today. What he doesn’t have is an iron jaw, which has caused him to lose fights by knockout to lesser fighters (Corrie Sanders, Lamon Brewster) in his career. For the remainder of his career, every boxer he faces knows if he can withstand his initial power, Klitschko can be had.

Sergio Garcia, with his failure to win the British Open, is now is the same place as Wladimir Klitschko.

The next time Sergio is in the lead in a major on Sunday (and it will happen again; he is too talented for it not to happen), the guy one or two shots won’t have the pressure to catch up that golfers have when Tiger Woods is one or two shots ahead. Even a victory in a major won’t fix this; the fact that he lost a three stroke lead on the back nine of a major will be in the front of the mind of every one of his opponents for the remainder of the career.

If and when Sergio does win a major, he will have to earn every bit of it. The odds of a player falling apart like they do when paired with Tiger in the final pairing (although Steve Stricker did a good job falling apart paired with Garcia today) are slimmer than they were 24 hours ago.

Feet Dragging on Drug Testing

2007-07-22T16:41:00.000-04:00

Gary Player's comments regarding illegal drug use in the golf world received predictable reactions in the golf community, from the typical this couldn't happen in golf (David Howell):

I was amazed by the comments. If there was one person in the world [taking drugs] I would be amazed. I'm shocked by his comments, but maybe I am naive. It's not even on the radar. I could be absolutely wrong, but of the people I know, no chance. I don't think we have a problem."

to lets shoot the messengeer (Reteif Goosen):

I don't know what Gary was trying to prove saying what he said. I'm actually very shocked at his comments. I don't know if he is trying to damage the sport, damage golf. He mustn't come and say 'I know of 10 guys taking drugs out there' and not say what it is. He might as well not have said anything.

Someone else noticed Dick Pound, the head of the World Anti-Doping Agency, who doesn't miss an opportunity to interject himself into any issue where drugs and athletes intersect:

It comes from one of the icons of golf who has no particular ax to grind out there now, other than to try to maintain the integrity of the sport. It's a wake-up call that has not come in such stark terms to date from the golf community. I don't know how widespread it is because there is no testing.
...
I have said: 'Look, this is your opportunity to lead, not to be forced to follow, so get on with it. The time is now. You should do this while you still have the initiative, rather than being forced into it as the result of a scandal. Then you are going to have the whole of golf regarded with suspicion. Do it now before there's a big public problem.

I am no fan of Dick Pound. I think his dream scenario is WADA officials being allowed to burst into any athlete's home at any time and take as much blood as they can. Due process is an obstacle to his goals. In short, he is an asshole. What the golf establishment is doing with their slow dance towards any type of drug testing is allowing an asshole to be right.

Imagine if the name of J.B. Holmes (because he hits the ball really far) or Fred Funk (because he is able to compete on a high level at an age where other players are on the Championship Tour) or David Duval (once elite player who has suddenly lost his way) comes up in a Balco-type investigation. The public opinion will turn from 'these guys aren't on the juice like the baseball players' to 'the WWE has a stronger testing regiment than the PGA Tour. Then, as baseball is learning currently, it is harder to gain the public trust back.

I'm sure Gary Player is right and someone playing golf somewhere in the world is using performance enhancers. It is in the golf establishments best interest to get off their inherent arrogance of how honest and true their players are and be the organizing party that catches that person, and not a member of the Orlando Sentinel or the FBI.

And this is only Saturday

2007-07-21T11:16:00.000-04:00

Sergio has to be just fucking with the world:

According to espn.com, he will be in kiwi Sunday

British Open Prediction

2007-07-17T20:43:00.000-04:00

Below are the current European Order of Merit rankings:

1 Henrik STENSON
2 Niclas FASTH
3 Angel CABRERA
4 Retief GOOSEN
5 Richard STERNE
6 Justin ROSE
7 Colin MONTGOMERIE
8 Ernie ELS
9 Grégory HAVRET
10 Paul CASEY

I believe the British Open Championship will come from this list.

Of the big Americans, Tiger is due for a clunker in a major, The Open is the least favorite of the majors for Phil and Furyk missed the cut if five of the last six Opens (coming in 4th last year, tying his best performance). As for the big international players, Singh is past the point of being best in the world, it is possible Adam Scott could win it, but I won't bet on it, and Geoff Ogilvy has been middling in non-World Golf Championship events.

As for the Order of Merit list, I'm eliminating Cabrera (still celebrating the U.S. Open win), Havret (one win at the right time does not a favorite make) and Goosen (I believe the crash at Pinehurst in 2005 destroyed Goosen for major championships).

Els has played well on both sides of the Atlantic ocean, but not great and there are whispers he isn't fully healthy. The crushing weight of expectations should cause Montgomerie to crack on Sunday, if he is in conention. Stenson peaked early in the year, he doesn't seem to be as sharp as he was when he won the Match Play Championship.

Justin Rose and Paul Casey have played well in majors recently; they should be in the mix. But they will fall short of Niclas Fasth.

The Tuesday Wrapup

2007-07-17T11:20:00.000-04:00

I didn't watch much golf this weekend, hence the late wrapup. That and laziness.

Jonathan Byrd wins the John Deere Classic

The win qualifies Byrd for the British Open. He beat short hitting Australian Tim Clark (best known for his success at the Masters in the last few years), who was leading by two strokes on the back nine, by one stroke.

The John Deere Classic has the most entertaining tee markers on the PGA Tour. What it didn't have this year is Michelle Wie, who continues to recover from ~~burnout~~ an injured wrist. She played on a sponsor's exemption last year, but withdrew due to heat exhaustion.

Se Ri Pak wins the Jamie Farr Owens Corning Classic for the fifth time in her career

A rather appropriate five time winner, considering host Jamie Farr's most well known role as Klinger on M*A*S*H.

Pak went three under on the back nine to pass Morgan Pressel, including birdies on the last two holes Par 5 holes. Pressel played even par the last 9. That is getting caught from behind, which is nothing to be ashamed of.

Gregory Havret wins the Scottish Open; beating Phil Mickelson in a playoff on the first hole

With the win, Havret qualifies for the British Open.

As for Mickelson , when you bogey three of the last six holes as Mickelson did (admittedly he birdied the other three holes), you invite getting caught. The good news is it appears his wrist is healed enough to allow him to play. The bad news is he failed stumbled down the stretch, something he has a habit of.

Playing Golf 7/14

2007-07-15T21:35:00.001-04:00

Course: Glenn Dale Golf Club
Score: 106 (not counting numerous mulligans off the tee)
Best Club: None
Worst Club: All clubs were equally bad
Highlights: Hitting the Par 4 4th hole in regulation with a drive over the water and a wedge to 5 feet. Parring the 4th and the 6th on the front side.
Lowlights: Three putting the Par 4 3rd after hitting the green in regulation. Hitting four straight fat shots on the Par4 13th.
Summary: Played the front nine with my brother-in-law Derek and his cousin. The back nine was just Derek and I. Once again, I play a course without warmup, leading to an 8 on the Par 4 1st. Started to get my act together in the middle of the front, only to lose it again on the back nine.

I had played Glenn Dale once before and the only things I remembered about it were you couldn’t hit driver on the driving range and the greens were tough. After playing it again, I want to go back. It is a shorter course than I am used to, but it isn’t easy by a long shot. If I had a decent day with the hybrid off the tee (most of the Par 4 holes are under 400 yards, I would have scored much better.

I have got to carve out some time for iron practice if I ever expect to break 100 again.

The Monday Wrapup

2007-07-09T12:36:00.000-04:00

K.J. Choi wins Tiger’s Tournament

With the win, Choi joins Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Vijay Singh and Zack Johnson as multiple winners this season. By no coincidence, they are the top five players in the Fed Ex Cup point standings (somewhere Tim Finchem smiles with the Fed Ex mention). And Choi is the leader in the clubhouse for most impressive presenters for his victories.

There are two stories for me bigger than the Choi win. First, the Washington D.C. metropolitan area gave it up for the AT&T National like a virgin on prom night. D.C. had always been a good PGA market back to the days of the Kemper Open; add a tournament hosted by Tiger and lower than average ticket prices and you get a massive success. The only things standing in the way of similar success every year is if Tiget stops hosting or the Congressional Country Club members decide they don't want to give up their course every year (the U.S. Amateur is scheduled for the course in 2009; AT&T National will have to find somewhere else to play that year at least).

The other story is the complete collapse of Stuart Appleby in the final round, turning a two stroke lead after the third round into a tie for third, nine strokes behind Choi with a tidy six over par 76. He didn’t waste time either, double bogeying the Par 3 2nd and throwing four straight bogeys at the field starting at the 4th. Here are the possible reasons for the collapse:

He always chokes when paired with Nike endorsers of Asian descent on the final day of a tournament.
The ‘Let’s Do It Again’ like hypnosis of Appleby that made him believe he was in Hawaii wore off.
It is winter in his native Australia and he wasn’t prepared for the temperatures in the 90s.

Brad Bryant wins the U.S. Senior Open

Even with his low round of the day (68), one of only five rounds under par for the day, this is another example of the winner being overshadowed by the collapse of another player. Tom Watson had a three stroke lead on Bryant after nine holes. He then shot seven over par down the stretch, dropping him to fourth.

Colin Montgomerie wins the Smurfit Kappa European Open by one stroke over Niclas Fasth

This was Montgomerie’s first win on the European Tour in almost 2 years, and it makes him the third winningest player in European Tour history; one better than Nick Faldo. With a third and first place finish the last two weeks, Montgomerie is in great shape to disappoint English fans with a missed cut at the British Open in two weeks.

More entertaining to me are the pants worn by Fasth Sunday. I don't know if I think they are a totally ridiculous monstrosity, or I want a pair for myself. Wow.

Playing Golf 7/4

2007-07-04T20:31:00.000-04:00

Course: Poolesville
Score: 109 through 17 holes (Front: 53; Back: 56 through 8 holes)
Best Club: 19 degree hybrid
Worst Club: Driver
Highlights: Par on the Par 4 15th. Hitting the 220 yard Par3 3rd green in regulation. Getting to wear my new Jim Furyk-esque red button down camp style shirt.

Lowlights: Losing two straight balls on the Par 4 10th hole with dead pulls off the tee. Forgetting how to play golf for the majority of the back 9.
Summary: Went out early today to beat the heat, ended up teeing off around 7am. The first warm up swing with the driver went straight and long, which I though was a good omen. I was wrong.

At the first tee I quickly realized I was the worst player of the foursome (a squibed drive that only tricked on the fairway due to the dry status of the course was a hint). This actually is a good thing for me; it forces me to focus on making good shots so I don't embarrass myself. While I didn't do particularly well on the front nine, I was able to keep up. The majority of my mistakes (all shots off the tee with the driver, the majority of irons) were pushes to the right. I bogeyed four of the nine front holes, which is a good score for me. I three putted three times, which isn't good for me.

As I approached the 10th tee, I thought 'at least I haven't lost any balls'. I was prepared to say that out loud but stopped so I wouldn't jinx myself. Too late, as I pull the first drive out of bounds left. Okay, reload and try again. Another pull, another ball lost. That seemed to knock the wind out of my sails and I was useless for the next four holes (it is possible the increasing heat or me running out of gas walking my fat ass around the course had something to do with it). I did decide to hit hybrid on par 4 holes under 400 yards; that lead to par (which could have been a birdie if I didn't miss a 5 foot putt) and bogey on holes 14 and 15 respectively. Then back to pulling as I lose tee shots into the trees left on the par4 16th (with the hybrid) and the Par 3 17th (with a 6 iron). After pulling the tee shot on the 18th, then following it up by hitting the ground before the ball on the second tee shot, I just gave up keeping score and hit three lousy irons before getting to the green and putting my out of my misery.

After today's debacle, I've realized the following:

I need to practice lat least once a week. If the only time I swing clubs is when I am playing or warming up, I'll never get any kind of consistency. I don't know when I would be able to hit the range, but if I want to get better, especially with my iron play, which once was the strength of my game, I have to put some work in.
For now on, I will be using the hybrid for all par 4 holes under 400 yards. I get that club out at least 220 yards most of the time and I am much more consistent with it than I am with the driver. The extra yards the driver gives me on the short holes doesn't outweigh putting the ball in the fairway more with the hybrid. If I haven't said this before, I'll say it again; unless someone is paying you to put your name on your golf bag, you need a hybrid.
If health or vanity reasons aren't enough, I need to lose some weight to improve my stamina walking a golf course. The fact that I wrote the previous sentence after coming back from an Independence Day barbecue where beef ribs, burgers, hot dogs and soda were consumed proves man is not a logical animal.

The next time I am scheduled to play is a company nine hole outing 7/12. Hopefully, I swing the clubs at least once between now and then.

The Monday Wrapup

2007-07-02T07:01:00.000-04:00

Cristie Kerr wins the U.S. Women’s Open

She held off Lorena Ochoa and 18 year old Angela Park for her first major. Before this win, Kerr could be considered the second best female player without…

We interrupt the Monday Wrapup for Special Commentary from Lou Dobbs:

It has been a glorious couple of days for the United States of America, as we approach our country’s birthday. First, the Amnesty bill big business tried to ram down working American’s throats failed in the Senate. Now a great American stands up against the outsourcing of our golf championships. Hopefully, Kerr, along with other major championship patriots like Morgan Pressel and Annika Sorenstam can continue the resurgence of American women’s golf…

Uh, excuse me Lou, Annika isn’t American. She is Swedish.

Annika’s Swedish?

Yes. Swedish.

…well…that’s white enough. At least she isn’t Mexican or Korean or something.

This concludes Special Commentary from Lou Dobbs

I watched Sunday’s telecast of the tournament. If Dan Hicks mentioned one more time that the U.S. Open was the most sought after major I would have cried. We are watching the tournament already; we don’t need for you to sell it any further.

Also, I was introduced to the female version of Golfer’s Tan. For those not up of it. Golfer’s Tan for men consists of just the head and arms from the elbow down. You can include upper thighs in the female version. At one point Pressel bent down from the waist to position her ball on the green. The camera angle was from behind, and the combination of her short golf skirt and her Golfer’s Tan reminded me of the scene in Pulp Fiction when the briefcase is opened.

Brian Bateman wins the Buick Open with a birdie on the final hole

The birdie broke a four way tie for the lead between Bateman, Justin Leonard, Jason Gore, and Wood Austin. The victory is his first on the PGA Tour and is the third week in a row for a first time winner (Angel Cabrera, Hunter Mahan).

Graeme Storm wins the French Open for his first European Tour win

There is something about European Tour action on the Golf Channel early Sunday morning. Eating breakfast while watching players you have never heard of with ridiculous fashions (Ian Poulter finished 9th, by the way) play golf for euros has a certain draw to it.

Colin Montgomerie was tied for the lead down the stretch, but bogeyed the 15th and 16th holes to fall into a tie for third. I don't know how he confused Versailles for America, but it appears he did.

The Monday Wrapup

2007-06-25T10:42:00.000-04:00

Hunter Mahan wins the Travelers Championship on the first playoff hole over Jay Williamson

Two straight sick approach shots on the 18th; one directly inside Williamson's very good approach on the 72 hole, the other on the playoff hole within two feet, won Mahan his first PGA Tour win.

When I left the house for a walk (In my attempt to weigh less than the current U.S. Open champion) Mahan was 2 shots in front. When I came back, he was tied and quickly bogeyed the 17th to go one shot behind. The CBS crew were already warming up the 'sponsors exemption winning the tournament' storyline before Mahan went nuts. Mahan get to go to the Mercedes and Augusta nexct year, Williamson get to go to Flint, Michigan for the Buick Open with his top 10 finish. Williamson will not get to see Tiger Woods talk to framed paintings in person; Tiger pulled out of the Buick to spend more time with his new daughter.

As an aside, he is wearing an Under Armour shirt. You really shouldn't endorse Under Armour when it looks like you have never completed a pushup.

Lorena Ochoa defeats In-Kyung Kim on the second playoff hole to win the Wegmans LPGA

This is her third win on the LPGA Tour this year. More importantly, she didn't choke in a pressure situation as she has previously. The only thing missing from her resume is a major win. Hey, the U.S. Women's Open is next week.

I tried to find television coverage of this tournament and failed miserably. Only after it was over did I discover it was on ESPN2. I'm not as down on LPGA Commissioner Carolyn Bivens as most, but her main job in my opinion is to solidify a regular U.S. television partner, whether it is ESPN2, Golf Channel, Versus or the Oxygen Channel. Her second main job is to put together a Ryder Cup like competion between U.S. and South Korean players. But that is for another post.

Official Golfing Negro LPGA favorite Christina Kim tied for 67th place

I am spared a drubbing by my father in law

He is coming to town on business this week, but will have no time for golf. He will have to suffice with his weekly calls from Louisiana, telling me how cheap the golf is down there and how well he is shooting.

Playing Golf 6/23

2007-06-23T21:59:00.000-04:00

Course: Northwest Park
Score: 105 (Front: 55; Back: 50)
Best Club: 19 degree hybrid
Worst Club: Putter
Highlights: Birdie on the Par 3 12th hole. Par on the Par 4 5th hole.
Lowlights: Three putting the Par 5 8th and the Par 4 18th after reaching each green in regulation.
Summary: Started out slowly with two triple bogeys then two double bogeys. I hit good shots with the driver on the 5th, 10th, 16th and 17th, which is good for me. Had a horrible day with the putter, which has been my best club recently. Constantly short with putts. Shanked a ball off the tee at the Par 3 15th so bad, I said out loud I couldn't do worse if I spit the ball out of my mouth. Walked the course and the legs are sore.

105 is the best score for the year. If I can get more consistent with my irons (I'm convinced the driver will always be consistent) and put like I have a pair, I should be able to break 100 this season. I've only done it once before, coincedentally at Northwest.

Daly's definately juicing

2007-06-22T20:39:00.000-04:00

PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem has announced the PGA Tour has begun to develop policies regarding performance enhancing drugs, incluing testing. This is a reversal of his original stance; that golf didn't need such a policy due to the ~~arrogance of the golf elite~~ integrity of the game. This annoucement led to writers going for the easy laugh, pointing to pictures of Mickelson and Angel Cabrera and saying 'these guys are on steroids?' Besides being more hacky than Robin Williams, they miss the point.

First off all, as baseball has taught us, steroids/human growth hormone/whatever the newest drug the cycling world is using these days are more important to extend a career or recover quicker from an injury. With all the money available on the PGA Tour, is it that hard to believe an older or injured golfer would throw down some HGH during the offseason, work out like his livelyhood depended on it and make a bunch of cash late in his career?
Second, isn't one of the main complaints about the current game is today's professionals hit the ball too far? Is it inconceivable enhancers could have something to do with that? I own a Taylor Made R7 driver (damn Sergio Garcia commercials) and I'm not hitting it 300+ yards. Could it be more than just the equipment?

Third, steroids are not the only performance enhancer out there. Craig Parry has brought up the possible use of beta blockers to steady nerves during play (perhaps someone should have told Aaron Baddeley about them before his round with Tiger).

Finchem has learned the lesson the NBA learned the hard way in the 80's with their cocaine scandals and MLB is still learning with their steroid scandals: it is easier to keep the trust of your fans then try to gain it back after you lose said trust. Professional golf may not need drug testing due to a doping epidemic, but they do need their good name. A little urine in a cup is a small price to pay for that.